VIEW FROM MY PARENT'S BASEMENT - Fantasy Hockey Lighter Side
by Dave Dickenson
Just the mere mention of the word “Fantasy Hockey” and women everywhere are rolling their eyes in disgust. That’s been the plight of sports minded geeks across the world for years and years as they get set each fall to wear their jersey, bring their guide books, notepads and lucky hats to hang out with their buddies, drink some beer and just have a fun weekend of talking **** and selecting their fantasy hockey teams.
I’ve heard everything in the past, from “it’s fake hockey! You know that, right?” “What do you get out of this anyway?” “That sounds kinda stupid” and “I don’t get it!” Each of those leaving me shaking my head thinking to myself, wow... women just blindly hate fantasy hockey! I don’t get the excitement over shoes or finding a deal shopping, yet I feign interest and say, “oh those are nice” or “wow, that was a great deal!” However when it comes time to smacking your friends around on the proverbial rink known as fantasy hockey, it results in nothing more than grief, the roll of the eyes and the hideous all‐telling look of “I guess your not getting any action tonight!”
The fact of the matter though is that when you look at the grand scheme of things and what women look for in men in the first place, you’d figure they’d want fantasy hockey players since some of the characteristics they display make them ideal mates for what women are looking for.
I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard women talking amongst themselves and they mention fear of commitment. Well in fantasy hockey pools I’m committing myself to the season, my league, setting my roster on a daily basis and putting in the effort to ensure I have the best roster I can possibly have. That’s commitment! And we’re not even talking keeper pools yet, which means I’m committed to my base roster for as long as I’m running my team in that league. I’m picking guys like Matt Duchene, Taylor Hall and other young potential superstars with the thoughts of hanging onto them and trusting in their development as players and staying committed to them being part of my roster, not just for the year, but years to come... and I don’t even need to get them a diamond ring to prove that commitment.
Another thing most women generally always say they look for in a partner is humor; well then look no further than a fantasy hockey player. Whether it’s slagging off his respective players which are under performing on message boards or finding new and creative ways to trash talk their buddies in the pool, there’s nothing funnier than how us fantasy hockey geeks express our feelings about how things are going in our respective pools.
Women say they want someone understanding, heck... here comes another check mark for the fantasy hockey player! Each year we pick up guys who have done bad things on the ice, bad things off the ice, players who have disappointed us in past seasons or have just never lived up to their potential, and we just keep understanding and coming back for more to give them chance after chance regardless how much they’ve ripped out our collective fantasy hockey hearts. Women also tend to look for a man with passion. Well, with the effort and creativity we use to not just select our roster, but trash talk our buddies or flat out jump out of the bushes and smash them with a completely lopsided deal... well that’s passion my friend!
So when you look at it, why are women’s eyes rolling at the mere sound of fantasy hockey? They should see someone involved in something like that and think... hmm... maybe he’d be a good catch. He has all the same attributes devoted towards that pool that I would like devoted towards me... maybe if I accept it, he’ll put those attributes to another use.
C’mon ladies... think about it... fantasy hockey is sexy... and if none of this has persuaded you at least think of it this way. For one weekend of the year when we get together with our buddies to draft our teams, we’re inside a sports bar or someone’s basement with all guys, making our picks, joking, having a good time and you have no concerns we’re talking to other women... or watching one at an adult establishment.
Follow me on Twitter: @Dickie_D26
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