Fantasy Hockey Coach - Hockey Pool and Keeper Hockey Advice - View From My Parents Basement

  • View From My Parents Basement

    It’s 10 games in people…don't overreact… leave that to Tortorella
    By David Dickenson

    Spezza is hurt? So is James Neal? Tomas “Teenage Mutant Ninja” Hertl is doing what so far as a rookie? Silfverberg is on fire?
    Ok… slow down there trigger… it’s time to take a deep breath, accept you may be in last place in your league, and endure what will be the short lived humiliation which comes along with being your league’s doormat.
    The key to remember though is it’s not who’s in last place right now, but who is in last place, who missed the playoffs and who’s taking everyone else’s money when all is said and done.
    So in other words, “DON’T PANIC” and don’t let others take advantage of you in this state.
    It’s only 10 games in and smart GM’s are looking to prey on the weak… they’re throwing packages of solid contributors at you to try to steal away your big stars… and you can’t win any type of pool without a couple big guns to help you out.
    You have to remember you’re in a marathon, not a sprint… everyone is going to lose some games or weeks and yours just happened to be up front. It doesn’t mean blowing it up, it doesn’t mean chasing hot starts and overpaying for guys like Hertl… it means staying the course.
    The idea is to treat your team like you’re playing the stock market… buy low and sell high!
    If someone blows up quick and you don’t think it will continue, someone will be all too happy to make a move to take them off your hands. Same goes for players on other teams shitting the bed, they may be more available now than ever.

    Have some fun with it
    As competitive as I am, I’m not afraid to admit I’m in last place in one of my head-to-head keeper pools. It was a long week and Sidney Crosby took a few games to get going as well as the fact Braden Holtby craped the bed for me in the Capitals opener, saw me fall behind far enough I just couldn’t catch up in the first matchup in our schedule.
    It was maddening, it was frustrating and it was embarrassing considering it was to one of the “fertadas” who missed the playoffs last year.
    The minute the loss came, so did the ridicule, followed by the offers and me walking around with a cheap homemade chastity belt to keep other GM’s in our league from throwing me behind the bushes and trying to trade rape me.
    No a package of Michal Neuvirth, Scott Hartnell (who’s injured by the way fella) and Eric Staal, doesn’t mean I’ll part with Crosby as part of a package, heck it doesn’t mean I’ll even part with Matt Duchene as part of a package… try again! Look for some other douchebag with the word “Sucker” written on his forehead… hell I won’t even let that word be written on my foreskin yet alone my forehead!
    In the early going of every season, players are adapting to new coaches, new teammates, new systems, new linemates etc… some are just better at it than others.
    It’s time to slow it down, ignore your team for a few weeks and see how things are progressing before you make any kind of substantial moves.
    Have some fun with the circumstances! My favourite has been messing with the overeager GM’s in my league trying to trade rape me, with responses only containing hash tags in the answer. Maybe #mustbeoncrack, #didyouhangoutwithrayemerybeforesendingthat? #imisspuddingpops! … pretty much anything that you could laugh to yourself about.
    When that got old, I would start out responses with a “yes” then rationale it out to a maybe… before giving a definitive “no” and possibly insinuating some sort of date with his mother the night before.
    Since they’re mostly all people I knew pretty well, I figured it was safe to mess with them in this way without hurting myself down the road, though I wouldn’t recommend this if you’re playing people you don’t know well.
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