Player: Joe Thornton

Joe Thornton IS the San Jose Sharks.

Like his team, Joe's been the 2nd best in the League since the lockout (behind Alexander Ovechkin and the Detroit Red Wings, respectively). And, just like with the Sharks, anyone who says that he has been bad over the past ten or so seasons is just being an idiot.

But, yeah, neither Joe Thornton or the Sharks have ever won the Cup, so they're chokers and failures and they suck and everything else.

All the rest is right here for you